Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Half my Brain

Leaving your newborn child for the first time is a milestone that every mom eventually reaches. For some it's fairly quickly, for others it's not till they're much older. I've been proud of myself for taking time to do some things on my own, and CDK and I have even gone out twice while leaving NGK with the grandparents. We love our daughter and always want her to be with us, but we know it's extremely important to our marriage that we have time on our own. Each time we've left her it's only been for a few hours, and she's always done well, and so have we.

So I wasn't too concerned when we decided to leave NGK in the church nursery last week for the first time. There are only a few babies in the class and since the church is small I know all the nursery workers and have complete confidence in them. I left her with the childcare worker and gave a few instructions. Well, I tried to give a few and not overload the sweet volunteer with too much info, I don't want to be high maintenance.

After being in church with her since she was born I was looking forward to being able to completely focus on the worship and teaching. But that wasn't really the case. I found that my ears would perk-up to any slight noise that I thought might be her crying and my brain kept wondering: "How is she?" "Is she sleeping?" "Has she eaten yet?" "Do they know that she'll stop crying if you put her on your shoulder?". Needless to say, I was not completely focused on the church service as I thought I would be. Then I realized, that's probably how the rest of my life will be. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, half my brain will always be wondering how my child/children are. I realize that this is natural, now I just have to make sure it doesn't consume my whole brain!

4 comments:

amy said...

I'm so proud of you for leaving her in the nursery and not being one of those moms who suddenly drops off a 7 month old and wonders why the baby freaks out. And although I understand that your mind wasn't totally free from baby thoughts I know that long term it is the "baby steps" that count.
I'm so sad I'm missing my week with NGK in the nursery this Sunday. :)

nicole said...

You will definitely feel that way from now on. I find that when I am somewhere wihout my kids, but where other kids are present, that I can't help but look for my children. Or if only one or two are with me, I'm looking for the others. Get used to it!

KarenD said...

That must be why moms are so good at multi-tasking.

Rosemond said...

You will always wonder....but sometimes moms need a break, too! She is just precious!